Few moments feel heavier than the first call to a divorce attorney. Perhaps, the worry on the other end of the line isn’t about who keeps the house or how retirement accounts will be divided—it’s about walking into a crowded courtroom. The idea of navigating Nassau or Suffolk County Supreme Court, with its fluorescent lights and rigid schedules, makes an already emotional decision feel even more daunting. The good news? For many Long Islanders, divorce can stay almost entirely on paper, well away from a judge’s bench.
Every divorce must be filed in the New York Supreme Court; it is the only court with authority to dissolve a marriage. Court involvement ensures that:
In contested cases, the court actively manages deadlines, discovery, conferences, and (if necessary) a trial. A preliminary conference is mandatory within 45 days of judicial assignment, giving both spouses and their attorneys an opportunity to map out the litigation timeline and required financial disclosures.
If you and your spouse resolve every issue—property, debts, support, custody—you can file an uncontested divorce. New York now allows couples to submit a joint uncontested packet, simplifying signatures and reducing clerical errors. Because nothing is disputed, judges typically sign judgments on the papers, which means:
Couples who need help negotiating but still want to avoid a judge’s calendar often turn to mediation or collaborative law. Agreements reached in these settings become the backbone of an uncontested filing. When mediation works, you still file in Court, but you maintain privacy, control cost, and usually skip any personal appearances because you submit a fully executed settlement agreement at the outset.
There are three common scenarios where a physical (or at least virtual) court appearance becomes unavoidable:
Although contested divorces average nine to twelve months, thornier cases can stretch far longer.
Can we finalize everything online? Yes. Both counties accept e-filed uncontested divorce packets through NYSCEF, provided you meet e-filing prerequisites.
Do I have to serve my spouse in person if we agree? No. Joint filing lets you skip formal service, saving time and money.
Will the judge ever call us in just to ask questions? Rarely, but judges may schedule a brief appearance (in person or via Teams) if terms look lopsided or if minor children are involved.
What if we agree on everything except who keeps the Hauppauge house? The matter becomes contested, triggering conferences and possible trial. However, narrowed disputes can settle mid-litigation, ending further court dates.
Can I avoid court if my spouse will not sign? Not entirely. You can pursue a default uncontested divorce, but you must still file proofs of service and may need to appear for brief testimony verifying the breakdown of the marriage.
For many Long Island couples, divorce no longer means standing before a judge. Thoughtful planning, complete agreements, and the joint-filing rules can keep you comfortably out of the courthouse. Yet when core issues remain contested, court appearances safeguard fairness and due process. Either way, having a seasoned guide by your side makes the journey smoother.
If you are considering divorce and want to minimize courtroom stress, reach out today. With Chris Palermo’s legal team, we have spent over two decades helping Long Islanders navigate both straightforward and complex divorces with dignity and efficiency. Let us put that experience to work for you.