When one parent starts talking about moving off Long Island, everything changes. What might sound like a fresh start for an adult can feel like a threat to the other parent’s relationship with the children – and it can trigger serious legal issues you cannot afford to ignore.
Whether you are the parent who wants to move or the parent afraid of losing time with your children, you are dealing with two big questions at once:
This is where careful planning, honest communication, and the right legal guidance become critical.
In most situations, no – not legally.
If there is a custody order or divorce judgment in place, the parent who wants to relocate with the children generally needs:
Even if there is not a detailed written order yet, a parent cannot simply pick up and move in a way that effectively cuts the other parent out of the children’s lives. Doing so can lead to emergency court applications, orders to return the children, and even changes in custody.
New York courts do not decide relocation cases based on which parent is “more deserving” or who is angrier. The court’s primary focus is always the same: What is in the best interests of the child?
The leading New York case on relocation, Tropea v. Tropea, makes it clear that there is no automatic rule that relocation is allowed or forbidden. Every case is decided on its own facts, with a “predominant emphasis” on the child’s best interests.
That means the judge will look closely at your specific situation, not just at mileage on a map.
When one parent seeks to move off Long Island – whether it is upstate, out of state, or across the country – the court will typically weigh a series of factors, including:
No single factor automatically wins the case. A parent who wants to relocate must present a clear, well-supported story showing how the move truly helps the child – not just the adult.
If you are considering moving off Long Island with your child, you need to approach this carefully and realistically. Here are key steps to think about:
Telling the other parent “I’m moving” without a plan or agreement almost always triggers conflict. Talk to a family law attorney first so you understand what the court is likely to focus on and what your risks are.
Courts do not respond well to vague ideas like “I just want a fresh start.” You will want to be able to show things such as:
The more concrete your plan, the more credible it will appear.
If the move will make regular mid-week visits impossible, you should come prepared with alternatives, such as:
Judges want to see that you are genuinely trying to preserve the child’s relationship with the other parent, not sideline it.
Relocating without consent or a court order can seriously backfire. It may undermine your credibility and give the other parent a strong argument that you are not acting in good faith.
Being told your child may be moved hours away – or to another state – is frightening. The worst thing you can do is freeze and hope it resolves itself.
Even a “soft” conversation like “I’m thinking about moving” should prompt you to get legal advice. By the time a parent has a new lease or job offer, the momentum is already moving.
Courts care about the real relationship between you and your child, not just what is written in your order. It can help to gather:
Sometimes you can negotiate a solution – adjustments to custody, a different move location, or a modified schedule that still preserves meaningful time with your child. Showing that you are child-focused, not just angry, can help your position.
If you believe the other parent may relocate without permission, you may need to file with the court promptly to protect your rights and prevent a unilateral move.
Relocation issues do not only arise when someone wants to move to another state. Moving from Long Island to upstate New York can significantly change the parenting dynamic as well.
Courts look less at state lines and more at how the move changes:
A move that turns frequent, consistent contact into occasional long-distance visits will always be scrutinized closely.
Whether you are the one considering relocation or the one opposing it, a few principles are almost always helpful:
If relocation is on the table – whether you are the parent who wants to move or the one who wants the children to stay – you are in a high-stakes situation. The choices you make now can shape your relationship with your child for years to come.
Chris Palermo and his team can review your existing order, explain how New York courts are likely to view your specific circumstances, and help you build a strategy that protects your rights and keeps your child’s best interests at the center of every decision.
If you are facing a possible move off Long Island, contact the law office of Chris Palermo to schedule a consultation and get clear, practical guidance before any lines are crossed.